Monday, November 24, 2014

Story #2 - A Christian Introvert's Experience with Groups Out

So...I'm pretty much going to give up writing (not really), because my friend, Paul Bishop, has got me beat--hands down. I hope you are inspired by Paul's account as much as I am:

[WARNING: If you appreciate Paul's sense of humor, as I do, LIQUIDS...or maybe even solids...MAY BURST THROUGH YOUR NOSTRILS FROM EXCESSIVE LAUGHTER]

On his blog, Craig shares some inspiring stories from the cord groups he’s participated in and how they've impacted the community outside the Church. That’s precisely what we expect from someone like him. After all, he’s a people connector by trade. He mingles with missionaries and pastors and superhero practitioners of the faith on a daily basis. He’s published multiple devotionals and maintains half a dozen church blogs. If an organization has an ICTHUS in its logo, chances are he’s a member. Of course he likes talking about Jesus in public. It’s his job.

Rumor has it his Bible is an autographed first edition.

But what about those of us who are not on church staff and who have never been trained on how to share our faith in secular society? What about those of us who have too many questions of our own to become public mouthpieces for the Church? Many of us are introverts, and we loathe the idea of becoming Christian salespeople. Can we participate in the types of community-facing cord groups Craig is talking about?

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Jesus, but I've always taken that “personal relationship with God” thing literally – it’s personal, none of anyone else’s business. So when Craig challenged me to participate in a men’s bible study group at Starbucks, I had two major concerns: 1) that I would likely screw up the first time someone challenged me and single-handedly bring down 2,000 years of Church tradition; and 2) that I would never be able to grow close to a bunch of strangers in a public setting.

The following is my candid experience joining a cord group.

Concern #1: Public Bible Study Invites Conflict, Debate, and Rejection. Possibly Martyrdom.

Even before I joined, I agreed with the concept of cord groups. On paper it was perfectly reasonable to saturate the community with representatives from our church. It made logical sense that in order to foster communication between the Church and those we hoped to serve, we had to, you know, actually talk to them and hang out with them. I just felt that there were others much better suited for this sort of thing.

Like this guy.

I, personally, wasn't looking for a mission. I wasn't qualified! I just wanted a place to fit in and feel comfortable, like a quiet man-cave where my fellow Christian dudes and I could hang out, talk freely about movies and fantasy football, then delve into feelings and all that mushy stuff without worrying about the judgment of anyone outside the group. I wanted insulation. Privacy. Safety.

Craig proved to be quite persistent, eventually convincing me to give it a try. (I’m a bit fuzzy on the details, but I’m pretty sure it involved bribery, Star Wars swag, and sodium pentothal.) I respected what he was trying to do, after all, and I wanted to see it succeed, even if that meant giving the whole public-display-of-Christianity thing a try. I knew it would challenge my undercover style of faith, so I took that first, timid step outside my comfort zone.

And that’s when the clouds parted, the angels began singing, and my life was transformed forever!!!

Even my plain coffee was miraculously changed to a venti caramel macchiato with extra whip.

Well, no, not really. To be honest, nothing out of the ordinary has happened at all, and maybe that’s significant in itself. I've always been taught that the world is out to get us Christians, to subvert our cause and eradicate all traces of God from society. We’re sheep amongst wolves! When I agreed to participate in a public cord group, I feared the worst: pitchforks, torches, and probably a couple of Richard Dawkins disciples smacking me upside the head with their atheistic manifestos.

Eh, not so much.

Week one came and went, and not a single fistfight broke out at Starbucks. A fluke, I was sure. The next week came, and not one person gasped aloud at the nerve of us churchy people to conduct a bible study in public and poured a Frappuccino over my head. I grew a bit bolder. The following weeks came and went, and not once did I get yelled at over abortion or gay rights, not once was I challenged to debate evolution, and not once was I blamed for the sins of religion and the wars fought in the name of God.

So far, no one’s asked about this, thankfully.

Those around us largely just went about their business while we talked openly about Jesus. It was an invaluable lesson for me, the demystification of the outreach process and the community outside church walls. Turns out, our unchurched, coffee-binging neighbors don’t seem to have as big a problem with us as I had always assumed.

Maybe the person keeping me from connecting with them wasn't them at all.

This allowed me to focus more on…

Concern #2: True Fellowship Is Impossible In a Public Setting

I have wanted to be a part of a men’s group for years. I've tried a few, but I think it’s fair to say that men aren't all interchangeable, despite what the modern sitcom says about us. Sometimes relationships click; sometimes they don’t. My fear was that, in a public setting, we’d never get below the surface enough to find out, given that we would be filtering almost everything we discussed through the strainer of political correctness.

Coffee metaphors are a sure way to PERK your attention.  

But that’s one of the side benefits of a cord group. Immediately, right off the bat, you've all got something in common: you’re practicing your faith out where anyone can see it. The shared vulnerability and risk of rejection is a much stronger bond than, say, liking the same movies. There’s no risk in speaking loudly of the Bears’ latest woes in the Chicago vicinity, and therefore there’s nothing gained when someone agrees with you. But come to an understanding on one of Jesus’ teachings in a place where not everyone accepts His legitimacy? You've made, ahem, grounds there. (Sorry! These puns are even starting to grind on my nerves.)

By far, the most pleasant surprise of my cord group is that things have gotten real. We've gone deep. Opened up, confessed, and laid bare our hearts right out there in the open, next to the business folk on their laptops and the patrons sipping lattes. We share victories and trials, pray for one another’s burdens, and generally take time out of busy lives to focus on Scripture and realign.

It was challenging at first. I leaned in a lot when I shared something personal. I lowered my voice when conveying something those outside the Church might not understand or agree with. But as the weeks passed, I realized I cared less and less about the possibility of rejection, because right there, seated around me, were four guys who accepted me.

And who knows, maybe one day there will be conflict. Eventually, someone may challenge us or even disparage us. There could be raised voices and aggressive postures and all those things that make us introverts want to dive back into our books about theoretical evangelism. But you know what? It sure helps knowing that I’m not alone. That there are godly men standing there with me who share my convictions. And who would get my back in the unlikely event that the great Jesus-Starbucks Smackdown of 2014 comes to pass.

Steven ho about Pictured above: Turning the other cheek, ninja style.

It seems my second concern was unfounded as well. The friendships forged in this cord group are real. Even as I write this testimony, I’m being alerted that one of the guys is quoting Taylor Swift lyrics on Facebook and that I must TAKE HIS MAN-CARD NOW. Christians or not, guys will be guys.

Conclusion:

It’s with some relief that I can say, in all honesty, my cord group is not an act. I don’t fake bonding with the guys for an hour a week in the hopes of proselytizing the great unchurched public through trickery. It’s not a sales pitch for a heathen audience nor a modern day morality play. Rather, we’re holding real, legitimate Church outside the walls of the church. And we’re extending a hand, sans collection plate, to those who might never step inside a stain-glassed building. We’re freely offering honest discussion about the things that matter to all of us. It’s an earnest conversation with the community, in the community.

I wish I could say we've brought a particular number of new souls to the Church. I can’t. I wish I could tell you how many patrons have overheard and taken note of us. Again, I can’t. Sure, we've had some discussions with those outside our group. We've tackled some tricky topics, actually, and prayed with total strangers. But I don’t have any metrics for you. I can’t quantify the good we've done. The only thing concrete I can share is that I, a confessed introvert with little experience practicing my faith in public, cannot wait for my Friday mornings at Starbucks.

And this has almost nothing to do with it.

I believe our cord group is having a positive impact on the community. Just as joining the group demystified those outside the Church to me, perhaps just being present out in the open helps demystify the Church to them. Maybe it helps both groups to recognize that some of those barriers between us are imagined and can be overcome by a handshake and real, genuine talk. (The caffeine and sugar highs surely can’t hurt!)

But even if I never have the privilege of seeing direct benefits in the community, there’s no doubt that my cord group is impacting me. Funny how the corner table of a local coffee shop, surrounded by total strangers, can start to feel like home. But then, this IS my community. It IS my home (for now). If I don’t start representing the Church here, who will?

And look at me, blogging about Jesus and evangelism. What a total Craig move! This cord group has certainly gotten my spiritual life brewing.


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